So, part 1 was on ways to establish permanent peace at home.. Part 2 is still gonna be on Wife..

Part 2 The Best WIFE is she - qualties of a wife

1. Who considers attending her husband as her foremost duty.
    
2. Who never leaves any requirement of her husband unfulfilled.
    
3. Who appreciates the merits of her husband and neglects his demerits.
    
4. Who takes pains in comforting her husband.
    
5. Who does not put any demand before her husband that is beyond his capacity.
    
6. Who never look at strange and unknown men nor allows them to look at her.
    
7. Who lives in Pardah and keeps her chastity safe.
    
8. Who safeguards the wealth, the property and other belongings of her husband including herself.
    
9. Who proves her dedication to her husband by sacrificing everything to salvage her husband from any calamity.
    
10. Who keeps patience over the atrocities inflicted to her by her husband.
     
11. Who is looked upon respectfully both in her father's house and in her husband's house.
     
12. Who is humble and kind to neighbours and whose humility everyone appreciates.
     
13. Who carries out her religious duties with punctuality and fulfills the rights of the Creator and creatures.
     
14. Who tolerates with cool mind the bitterness of the members of her husband's family.
     
15. Who first feeds the other members of the house and eats herself in the last.

This is a shorter post as compared to the previous one. Part 3 is gonna be on Certain obligations that men owe to the women.. That will be a very long entry as there are 25 points as compared to 20 points on Part 1.. I am pressed for time at the moment.. So, I would update it some time later.. I gotta read up on my dissertation notes for now.. 

Sometimes, I also wonder why I post information / stuffs / things which I have read or attended when it actually takes a fair bit of my time.. I suppose it all boils down to whether one is willing to share... Btw, there are a few parts on update #2 before I will be actually typing out Update #3 though it only has one part to it.. So, if u dun intend to read my update #2, come back a week later or not at all.. (: 

To be very honest, update #2 was about something else than what I am gonna be posting today.. But, u noe.. I had rather type this out b4 I progress through the pages and forget all about it..

So, I got this book titled 'Gateway To Heaven' (for woman) from my maternal uncle for my 21st Birthday.. Its been about 1.5 months since I turned 21 but, I was still yet to touch that book.. Not that I din wan to.. But, u noe.. I got a lot of dissertation readings to do.. Two new books which I bought about 2 months back and I still intend to buy two books which hav really interested me a lot.. Basically, I got the interest to read (except when it comes to dissertation notes, that is).. Just that, I am time-deprieved..  However, I made this little effort to start reading this book while waiting for the Subuh prayers.. And, I should say. It was pretty good and enlightening to the extent that I started reading it the moment I showered..

Before I start, I am truly not sure how many parts this particular update will have.. Because I am only at page 59 of 242 pages.. I mean.. I will only update if I find it worthwhile.. I dun intend to republish the entire book on my portal.. An important point to note before I start: This is an islamic book and it may not be applicable to other races.. However, there are no racism or religious comments within.. So, here it goes..

Part 1 Ways to establish permanent peace on the home front - How to live happily with the husband..

• Every wife should try to appease her husband day and night. This would satisfy his ego and he would feel that there is a someone in the house that cares for him. A husband likes a wife who obeys his orders without arguments and without asking why and how. If the husband askes her to massage him throughout the night, she should bear that much pain and pateintly obey his command. This little trouble would bring to her immense love from her husband.

• Every wife should understand the temperament of her husband. She should know the likes and dislikes of her husband. By living with him for years together she may excel in knowing what makes him happy and what annoys him. She should master in her husband's habits and tastes.

• It is obligatory on the part of the wife never to fight with her husband, She should not pass sarcastic comments to him nor should she criticize him bitterly. She should not give him sharp and rigid reply nor should she pass any left-handed comment. She should not pass adverse comments about the parents of her husband as this may lead to unnecessary arguments and will ultimately end in hatred towards each other.

• The wife should not ask her husband to give her money beyond his capacity. Whatever her husband gives her for running the house; she should accept it smilingly and run the household within the budget. Let the husband himself ask her what she would like to bring for her. And when the husband brings something for her, she should appreciate it and express happiness in accepting the gift.

• The wife should never pass comments on the looks and physique of her husband nor should she ever be ungrateful to him.

• The wife should show utmost restraint and respect in front of her husband. Whenever the husband returns home, she should welcome him leaving all the work aside. She should arrange for his comforts. She should not ralk to him in a way that will annoy or confuse him.

• If the husband gets annoyed with the wife over some issue, she should keep silence and should not utter anything that may aggravate his anger. If the husband gets annoyed over some of her mistake and rebukes her, she should not feel it bad. She should unconditionally beg his pardon and bring him back to his good mood by persuasive methods.

• The wife should not ask her husband the account of his debit and credit. The husband gets irritated over this accountability and this irritation leads to conflicts. Similarly, the wife should not investigate her husband's whereabouts and engagements nor should she express any doubt on the character of the husband, as it would disturb the mutual trust.

• As long as her husband's parents are alive, she should obey them and attend to their requirements. The husband is their son and if they incite him against the wife, he will be annoyed at her that will ultimately result in deterioration of r/s. Similarly, she should reat her husband's brothers and sisters nicely. She should never try to divide the family. She should never insist on her separate household.

• If the wife faces any hardship in her husband's house, she should never narrate it to her parents and relatives. This creates tension between the two families.

   

• The wife should concentrate more on her looks - her clothes and personal hygiene. She should take into account her husband's likes and dislikes. She should occasionally apply Mehendi (henna) in her hands and feet. She should not keep her hair shattered and disturbed. A little carelessness with regard to the physical fitness may compel the husband to go to other women who make special arrangements to look good to the husbands of careless women.

• The wife should take food last of all in her husband's house. She should arrange food for her husband, his parents and his siblings. She should always play a hostress at the dining table.

• The wife should not develop a habit of admiring her parents and other relatives in her husband's house. This would create an impression in the minds of her in-laws that she is lowering their status.

• The wife should not spy upon her in-laws. She should not try to listen secretly to the conversation of other women in her husband's house. It is very foolish of her to presume that they might be talking bad about her.

• The wife should share housework with the mother-in-law and the sister-in-law(s). This would create a feelibg of helpfulness in the hearts of the women in her husband's house. The women folk will start liking her and cooperate with her in all matters. She should attend to her ailing mother-in-law or other sick members in her husband's house, as this would give her dignified status in that house.

• If the husband is poor and has no capacity to employ a maid, the wife should not make any complaints of doing the work herself.

• The wife should keep a balance between the income of her husband and the expenditure of the house. If the husband is very poor, she should not insist upon him to bring items of luxury. She should be content with whatever os available within the limited resources.

• The wife should not demonstrate any obstinacy and stubbornness in her husband's house. This is a general habit of women that they get furious very soon. Their parents may bear it but the in-laws will not bear this.

• The house of the husband is a new place for every woman. She comes across with so many strange faces with different habits and behaviours. There is a possibility of differences of opinions and clash of interests between the two parties. But the wife should keep patience and be kind to the mother-in-law and other members of her husband's house.

• The wife should live in her husband's house with discipline. She should neither talk too much nor too less. She should talk sense. Her diction and intonation should be soft, clear and sublime. Her speech should not hurt any body.
  
   

I am back again to enlighten you on Part 2 on Finding the Right One for Guys..

Part 2 Finding the Right One for Guys - Information on girls..

Like already mentioned yesterday, women value love over anything else..And to us, emotional security is more important than financial security.. This may seem unbelieveable to some guys.. Well, you can always choose to take it or leave it.. But, these information are certainly true and can help ya.. (:

And most importantly, women value inner qualities rather than outer ones.. In a survey done by this couple, many women were given 12 traits to rank based on which was more attractive to them.. And, the results are as follows:

1. Sense of Humour	2. Thoughtfulness
3. Self-Confidence	4. Good Conservationalist
5. Adventuresome	6. Goal Oriented
7. Attractive Face	8. Genuine Faith
9. Buff Body	10. Athletic
11. Rich	12. Cocky

This is true and I totally agree to it.. And, if you realise, it is apparent that the traits that most women found attractive are traits which can be nurtured..

Another interesting fact to share: In a survey conducted for those aged between 21 - 75, 70% said that they had rather endure financial struggles as compared to 30% who said they had rather endure struggles arising from insecurity or lasck of closeness in the relationship..


The bottomline is: Women need a sense of security and closeness in a relationship..


It had be weird to note that even the most attractive woman has a secret insecurity if she is loveable or not.. Like men who needs to noe that he is respected, a woman needs to be told that she is loved.. And, as mentioned yesterday, woman are like spaghetti coz they multi-task.. A woman's multi-tasking brain has "open windows" she finds difficult to close - they will keep popping up until the issue is resolved.. I actually thought I was the only one.. But, now I noe that it is the wiring of the woman brain..   


Find it hard to communicate with a woman or understand her??? Well, it is very easy.. All that you have to noe is that 85% of woman are not looking for the guy to 'fix their problem'; all they want is for the guy to listen to the emotion behind the problem.. The soultion can come next or it can just not come.. All a woman needs is to get it out of her chest.. And, she can certainly do without stupid comments and solutions..

Thats all on Part 2 Finding the Right One for Guys.. If you are interested in finding out more, you can purchase the books - For Women Only & For Men Only -  from either Popular, Times or MPH bookstore.. I will be getting one once I decide to make my way to either one of the bookstores.. (: 

I have been so caught up doing all the things on my to-do list that I have neglected my portal for so long.. Kinda guilty of it as it is my only avenue of letting things out (in a beat-around-the-bush yet a mystery manner, that is)..

So, here is update #1 on Finding the Right One..

This update may be useful to both singles and also to those who are attached..

Alright.. So, last friday, Liza, Pam and I made our way to Capital Tower at Tanjong Pagar at about 630pm to attend the seminar called 'Finding the Right One..'

Yeah! I sense that raised eyebrows.. Let's get things right.. Most of the people who turned up were attached.. It was just some information on how to handle the relationship well.. Which the 3 of us found pretty interesting and useful.. Read on if u r interested.. Alternatively, you can choose to leave my portal.. Thanks in advance..

Getting back on track, the information shared there were perspectives of both man and woman.. And, whatever the lady speaker shared (for the men's benefit, that is) was just so accurate.. I mean.. it would have certainly be an eye-opener for the guys who were present.. And, this somehow compelled me to believe that what the gentleman had shared about men should be somewhat accurate as well..

I am sharing the information in my portal so that it may help others.. And believe me, some of these information which I am gonna share are things that we have neva known about the opposite gender.. This information will be shared in two parts; Part 1 on Finding the Right One for Gals and Part 2 on Finding the Right One for Guys..

Part 1 Finding the Right One for Gals - Information on Guys..

Unlike gals, guys value respect more than love.. And research has proven that 74% of men would give up love if that is what it took to get respect.. And, if u dun already realise, a man who is often criticised gets angry very easily... Unlike woman who cry when they are withdrawing (or in depression), man vent anger.

Shocking statistics show that 74% of men aged 21 and above appear confident on the outside but are vulnerable deep within.. Due to this vulnerable-ness, men often look for clues / hints / signals from women around him such as his mother, gf, wife or sister.. Just like we need to be told that we are loved, they need to be told that they are accepted and respected.. When I say they need to be told that they are accepted and respected, I do not mean you go up to them and say 'I respect ya..' It is more to encouraging and appreciating them..

It has been proven that men have gut level response while women have a more 'thinking' response.. Dat is e reason y men are like waffles while women are like spagetti. Men think in boxes and process one box at a time.. However, women multi-task and process a lot of things.. More info on this will be shared in Part 2 for Guys..  



That's all the information for the ladies on guys.. I will update on the information for the guys on ladies sometime soon.. Tho, I am not sure of any guy who would benefit from reading it from my portal.. FYI, there were many guys in the seminar than ladies..  (:

I was randomly blog-hoppin (as always) and I found a very good post on lessons of life which made me stop a second and think.. Read it and it may set you thinking too.. (:

Lesson One: Thinking Outside the Box
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus, you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind, and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Lesson Two – Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked.
“Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
“Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, was one quarter, two dimes and five pennies.

You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Lesson Three – The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Lesson Four – Giving When it Counts…

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.”

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.